I am no fan of Facebook, but have been on there a while. In 2013, with the release of my wife’s first memoir, of her rather incredible experiences in Cyprus and Europe, we engaged “social media experts” who lectured us about “branding,” and, for the first time since 1999, I used my real name online. On Facebook.

That lasted about a year. I came to my senses, and my Facebook name has since  been constantly changing, and ridiculously so. Moredecai Grammerhell Thorpewallow Strathpeffer? Sounds good to me!

So Sure, Facebook remembers my real name, but even so, what just happened is creepy. Too creepy.

People You May Know yesterday: two I do know. Two I didn’t know were on Facebook. Two who have no mutual friends on Facebook. And two with whom I have virtually no electronic contact.

Also two I rarely see in person, but have, both, in the last two weeks. One, Chuck: I needed to contact him a month ago (didn’t even know he was in Uruguay), but had neither email address or phone number. The other, Burkhard, from Namibia. I do have his phone number and email, but aside from lunch together a month ago, my physical visit to his house a week ago, have had no electronic contact.

No phone number, no emails, and certainly no Facebook Messenger or mutual friends

And yet: people you might know, according to FaceSpook.

OK, let me read your mind: Blah blah blah.

I understand. But this:

Chuck’s last Facebook post was in 2014.

Burkhard’s was in 2012.

Not friends on Facebook, no mutual contacts on Facebook, neither posting in the last three years, and no contact other than physical visits, and two utterly inactive Facebook accounts suddenly flagged as “People you might know” – ?

I’m outta here.